Sailing over the Bay of Biscay from Portsmouth to Santander can be a testing experience for the novice — which we certainly are — as it is home to some of the fiercest weather in the Atlantic. It seems a most unusual path to Spain given that tens of thousands travel between the country by flight each year in a fraction of the time and at roughly the same price; however, if you travel by car this is the only way to go. You could drive the full way but the boat has the added benefit of skipping France, which is a bonus for the predominantly English travellers on the boat — Don’t mention this to the predominantly French staff of course.
Like all slower means of transport, the experience is more frustrating but tends to be more rewarding. In this case, the people you meet are the reward: ex-pats going back and forth to Spain, or nomads in campervans. The ex-pats don’t quite live up to an episode of ‘Benidorm’ but they aren’t far from it. On the most recent trip we overheard a couple in complete bemusement that the bar shut at midnight, which makes sense given we are surrounded by the cold water of the English Channel — The titanic would have been a very different movie if Jack and Rose were pissed.
On the trip before, we had a conversation with a couple who live in Benidorm who introduced us to ‘Sticky Vicky’, my she rest in peace (Smash that link. Do it!). This is not to be disparaging of the ex-pats, in all honesty this is probably us in a few years and they are much more entertaining than the posh cohort, that I can only assume is travelling to the Pyrenees to go skiing.
The trip will take two nights and if you travel like a pauper, which we always do, you will be sleeping on a chair with a hundred other people. This is not suited for the old or the impatient since there is a high possibility of a nutcase having a full-blown conversation or listening to music at 4 am. This is not exaggerated, you probably have a 1 in 4 chance of this happening and you will be amazed at what people will put up with before intervening. However, if you can take those odds, can sleep in a semi-comfortable chair, and want a lesson in human psychology then go for it.
If yaer aff the drink and wake up early you will be greeted by other curious folk with nowhere else to go. After walking up and down the boat, having a look at the crashing waves below, and having another walk up and down, you will inevitably come across another lost soul in the same position.
On this trip, it was 70 year old in quite good nick who was taking his campervan down to the south of Spain. He came from Hampshire, lived in the Scottish borders and from the sounds of it had been all over. Including, of course, a stint in the biggest cul-de-sac of the UK: Barrow-in-Furness. I learnt his sister came from the Isle of Wight, which was basically a prison island; I have not verified this but I am already planning my ‘escape for the Isle of Wight’ style trip.
There is no free wifi so if you can’t live without the internet for 2 days expect to be charged a fortune. There is one exception, as you travel out of the English Channel and into the Bay of Biscay you will skim Brittany and can connect there for about 30 minutes. At this point, the frantic buzzes, pings, and clicks of all the passengers as they get their fix is reminiscent of junkies sharing a needle.
