Bilbao

Thu Nov 30 2023

Alex

The rain started as we arrived at Santander and followed us all the way to Bilbao.

When I think of the Basque region I think ETA which is very unfair to the region; however, like most prejudices you learn as a child you don’t get much choice. This rebellious preconceptions is given further credence when you consider that they speak a language formed in the stone age, which is the oldest in the world. I originally expected the language to be forced on the population by the government like Gaelic in the lowland of Scotland; however, it seems everything had both a Spanish and a ‘Euskadi’ (Basque) version not just a few token contributions like ‘Ambaileans’ in Scotland.

Stop trying to make Ambaileans a thing.

I couldn’t tell you ratio of spoken Euskadi to Spanish since it all, for the most part, sounded like gobbledygook but speaking Spanish didn’t seem a faux pas.

Even with the rain people were protesting about woman’s rights which seems a bigger movement in Spain since I have seen a few of these marches all over.

When you thought Spanish was gibberish...

The most famous building in Bilbao is by far the Guggenheim. Now, I love a bit of art, especially with a bit of history but modern art… 💩

Maybe one day I will get it but for now it feels like a case of emperor’s new clothes. We did try of course but only through the windows of the modern art houses on the way to the Guggenheim.

I call this "Pricking the priapic"

We continued down the same road seeing “art” in the same vein: Easily produced; Risque trying to be challenging; Pretentious; Expensive. The last point is what gets me; if I were rich I would get one of those old renaissance frescos on my ceiling, so I could look at is as I bungeed about my mansion like Angelina Jolie in tomb raider.

Is this modern art? The conceptual bottom of the barrow

With the diatribe above you may have guessed we didn’t spend the 13 euros getting in; however, we did admire the building, which I have to say is worth the visit.

I like that they sort of incorporated the bridge.

Just down the road we walked into the Bilbao Fine Art Museum to get out of the constant rain. After an attempt at sneaking in we were asked to get a ticket. We asked how much even though we knew our response would be no, only to be told it was free.

There are some cracking pieces in there, link here. There was no English translation so swot up before hand. They did try the modern art pish with, I kid you not, room size bags of air — Thinking about it, maybe it was construction works 🤔

I thought I was having a bad week

The crazy painting above was painted in 1534 by Lucas Cranach the Elder and is about a woman’s rape, which lead to a suicide, which lead to the downfall of the roman monarchy. Now I know what you are thinking: That’s a woman? Well if you kept up with renaissance painting you would know that woman are often depicted as boys with tits; don’t ask me why. Well it’s not as simple as that, the genders are all over the place. Basically, like today, it is better not to assume a gender.

In the evening we made our way to the Bilbao Orkestra Sinfonikoa by tram until we were stopped by more protests and had to get the subway. This left us running late and panicking thinking we would not be allowed in to watch the orchestra which we had paid €35 each for.

Now, as you can probably tell this is our first (insert hair flick) orchestral experience so we didn’t know the rules. If you find yourself in this situation here is a rough list of rules:

  1. Don’t dress fancy. It turns out classical music lovers are people too. Who knew!;
  2. Don’t worry if you are late. “Money don’t run” as a famous rapper I just made up says;
  3. Don’t clap until the end. Only noobs clap half way;
  4. Expect an uncomfortable amount of bowing; and
  5. An encore is the main pianist walking off and on the stage 5 or 6 times. Don’t ask why.
Don't rush in. This is how they know you're poor.

I get that classical music isn’t for everyone but I would recommend going to see it live. Quite the spectacle watching everyone work in tandem to create a cacophony of noise without speakers. I know that all classical music listeners are arseholes, but hey, you could be one of them, and you wouldn’t even have to let anyone know. You could start listening to it in secret, going to special clubs, getting the magazines; then when you are comfortable with it, bring a double bass home for christmas.

Sneaky photo since it seemed uncouth to take a photo.

I would recommend Bilbao. It does feel unique and you get to correct people with a hair flick with…

I wasn’t in Spain, I was in the Baaaasque region. Cooooompletely different cultural experience.